FIERCE & Famous: Helen Gurley Brown

Back in the day when I was an actual journalist, I had this idea that writing about sex would be the ultimate job.

I was inspired by Anka Radokovich, and even more so by former Cosmo editor, Helen Gurley Brown, who inspired a generation of women to have GREAT sex on their terms. 

I wanted to BE Anka and BE Helen. These women were FIERCE! 

Even though Helen lived to a ripe old age of 90, her passing on Aug. 13, 2012, caused me to reflect and see how far women have come (hahah yep, pun intended) in regards to being comfortable when it comes (bahahahaah) to talking about sex.

Sex, fucking, making love; it's all supposed to be something we can enjoy without the guilt yet so many women still have problems talking about it or, worse, even laughing about it.

I'm 37 so I've got a few years experience when it comes (HA!) to sex. I like to talk about it, make inappropriate comments in regards to it, and especially turn the most innocent comments on Twitter into a sexual innuendo.

Why?

Because (mostly) it makes people laugh. Those who are offended usually have sexual hang up *cough* in my humble opinion.

Everyone has sex. EVERYONE. And everyone masturbates or gets off in one way or another so as long as you're not hurting anyone (unless you're into that), or involving kids or animals (so not acceptable by any standards), then sex SHOULD be something that is enjoyed by all.

What I was 18 and just discovering sex (yes, shocker, I was a virgin until 3 months before my 18th birthday), having Helen say that it was OK for single women to enjoy sex, made my lack of inhibitions feel normal. I never felt like a slut because I didn't wait for a relationship to enjoy sex. I never cared about what other girls thought about me or said about me. I did what I wanted on my terms and enjoyed my single life (thanks Cosmo!).

When I applied to college, my entrance essay was on the taboos of single women having sex and the stigma attached to one-night stands, something I could never understand considering the same labels being applied to women were not stamped on men.

My argument was that in the 1700s, women were burned at the stakes if they appeared to enjoy sex. They were labelled "witches" because clearly women who orgasmed had to have some magical powers. 

I got into college based on that essay (and my sparkling personality) and seriously considered switching my career path from sports writing to being a sexpert of some sort.

I even had an idea for a book based on me and my friends but I never wrote it. A few years later when I was working at a daily paper as a sports scribe, Sex and the City became popular. To this day, I can't see that goddamn show without kicking myself.

Without women like Helen, I often wonder how much longer it would have taken to get to where we are. We've come (BAHAHAHA!) so far since the sexual revolution but we still have a ways to go when it comes to acceptance and removing taboos.

And I'm not talking about 50 Shades of Grey, either. There is far better erotica out there, ladies. All you have to do is google it.

Thanks Helen. Thank you for getting us this far. Rest in peace you naughty girl!

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FIERCE & Famous: Eleanor Roosevelt

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. 

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I am in awe of Eleanor Roosevelt for the genius gem of a quote right here, and although I am nowhere near as refined as Ms. Roosevelt, I would like to offer my own personal spin on what she is saying.

Ahem.

When your conversations veer off on a path of gossipy bullshit, you need to grab control of that conversation and recognize that you're being a catty bitch.

It's not easy, I know. Trust me, it's simple to talk about other people and find fault in how they're living their lives; gossip rags and websites wouldn't be in business if society didn't thrive on picking apart celebrities on a daily basis.

However.

And this is a BIG ASS however...

Your conversations don't need to be that small or petty, YOU have control of what you and your friends talk about. If one friend starts in on the, "OMG did you hear (blah blah) is cheating on (blah blah)??" you can steer that conversation away to, "OMG did you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds!!??"

Conversations that you are having for the sake of TALKING about other people are pointless.

To some degree, we all like gossip whether it's Robsten and their big cheating scandal (le gasp), or sharing with our closest friends "secrets" about our other friends, it's gossip on some level.

Where does it end? 

If you find yourself CRAVING gossip, NEEDING to talk about other people whether or not they are celebrities or friends or even family, you need to figure out what the fuck is so wrong in your own life or that you are missing that you can't find anything better to discuss than other people.

Try this...

The next time you're out with your friends or with a group of peers, watch who brings up the gossip and ask them why they feel the need to bring it up.

Sometimes people don't even realize they are being so petty and just need a slap back to reality.

You can do it.

YOU have a great mind.

  



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FIERCE & Famous: Audrey Hepburn

84 days until the 2012 FIERCE awards and I have a great new blog idea! Each week I will be posting famous FIERCE women who live/lived a FIERCE life.

Audrey Hepburn is our first in this series because she was an original FIERCE woman.

She exuded class, charm, grace and blazed her own trail, focusing more on her humanitarian efforts than her Hollywood career.

She knew who she was and she made no apologies to anyone.

Who do you want to see featured?

Who do YOU want to honour this year? 

You have until Aug. 31 to get your nominations in for the 2012 FIERCE Women of the Year awards presented by Edmonton City Centre Mall.

We're bringing the WOW factor this year thanks to our amazing sponsors including Focus Communications, Elegant Touches, River Cree Resort & Casino, Simplee Serene, and Sparkle ~ Passion Style. 

  



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Beyond the Rear View Mirror

Shelley Streit was a sponsor at the
2011 FIERCE Women of  Year awards
Image via YouAreFIERCE.com

I've had a lot of friends and acquaintances publish books lately and when I read their very personal stories, it seems weird in some ways because that person is actually real to me.

Does that make sense?

It's not like when you read a celebrity bio and go, "Ah, yeh, I know who she is," and feel somewhat connected to that person, it's more like you have coffee with someone and they hand you their life story to read.

I literally just finished reading Shelley Streit's book Beyond the Rear View Mirror and am impressed with how raw and vulnerable she is in telling her story. Shelley came into my life last year as a Facebook friend. I didn't know her other than maybe we exchanged tweets but one night, after venting my frustration with the lack of sponsors for the FIERCE awards and not knowing how I was going to make that event happen, she popped up in a Facebook chat saying, "How can I help you?"

My response was one of suspicion. 

I have (had, actually, I'm working to overcome that) a tough time trusting that people will offer help without expecting something in return or having serious ulterior motives so when I told Shelley that I was fine, hoping to brush her off, I was taken aback by her persistence to want to help me.

She immediately took a sponsorship and I sat in shock when I got a Paypal notice from her. I think I actually cried because I was so confused/moved by this generous offer from her. What I have learned since meeting her and having a few conversations with her is that she has a huge heart and will not say something she doesn't mean.

I've also seen her speak and let me tell you, she can captivate an audience.

I went to Shelley's book launch in April (yes, I have only just had a chance to read it), and have watched her soar, making opportunities and taking advantage of the opportunities that are presented to her.

via ShelleyStreitInc.com

Shelley had a pretty shitty childhood and is not close with her mother. 

She made choices in her life that got her to where she is today and they weren't always easy.
She got through certain situations by going into survival mode.
She's suffered through depression and been in the darkest place possible.
She has dug pretty fuckin' deep into herself to shift her mindset and become the FIERCE woman she is today. 


I can relate to Shelley on every single level; our stories are very similar yet vastly different.

Go. Get the book. You will thank me later.

Oh, and among the many things Shelley has accomplished (besides launching the book, being a mom, and being an entrepreneur) was launching the Real Growth Retreat last spring. From what I've been hearing, it was quite the success! I'm going this year to learn from other women and I hope to see you there. Check THAT out, too.

  



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Make Jen's Day

Jen Banks via TechMommy.ca

I love being inspired by other women!

Jen Banks is a self-professed techy, geek mom who is covered in tattoos and likes her wine. She is also someone who's compassion and generosity caught the attention of the Twitterverse when she posted a blog called, "Go Ahead, Make My Day."

This blog caught my attention because of Jen's selfless act of kindness and turning what should be a day of celebrating her into a day of helping other people.

Sunday, July 22nd is my birthday and I have only one wish: 

I wish that all of my friends, family, Twitter followers, FB friends, blog readers and even people in my Google + circles take a moment this weekend to give something to charity.
Give your time, give food, give diapers, give formula, give clothing, give money, give breast milk. What you give doesn’t matter as much as helping someone who needs it. 

When you give, take a picture. Then make sure I see it.
Tweet it using the #makejensday hashtag
Join the Make Jen’s Day Facebook page and post your photos on the wall
Use the #makejensday hashtag on Instagram.
Write a blog post about your experience and link back to this post
Email it: jenniferbanksyeg@gmail.com

She wrote the post after helping out someone in need and recognizing that she had been helped her at various times in her life. For that, I have mad respect.

Jen is a perfect example of someone who is making a difference.


Happy birthday Jen! May all of your birthday wishes come true!

  



P.S. If this doesn't get Jen nominated for a FIERCE award I don't know what will. Totally FIERCE in my humble opinion. 

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Going Blue 4U

Image via SimpleeSerene

One of my most favourite FIERCE women to talk about is Lee Horbachewski. 

I love telling her story and sharing who she is with the world because her strength, resilience, compassion, and light make her relatable and endearing to so many people who have suffered through depression.

Lee struggled for many years with whether or not she should openly discuss the fact that she tried to commit suicide after a dark battle with depression. People would ask her, "Do you really want to be known as the 'Suicide Girl?'"

She shared her story on her blog, through speaking engagements and finally wrote a book called A Quiet Strong Voice which she recently launched in Calgary, AB.

In it, she shares her pain, her struggles, even her suicide note that she left for her friends and family. Towards the end of the book, she offers a chapter called, "Your Personal Reflection," which is a place for you to put your own thoughts through a series of questions, plus she offers resources and help for people in distress.

This book is more than a story. It's a guide for anyone who has ever suffered with depression. It's a book I wish I had when I was going through my own personal journey.

Lee is determined to change the stigma of depression and suicide, and she created a campaign called "Going Blue 4 U." 

This campaign is a FUN way to bring awareness to mental illness. You can donate directly through the website or raise money and dye your hair blue! Right now, Lee has a fundraiser going on to raise money for Going Blue 4 U. Check it out!

I'm also giving away a signed copy of Lee's book. All YOU have to do is leave a comment on the blog. I will randomly draw a winner on July 31.

 



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What are you waiting for?

I have a real problem with waiting.

I hate waiting to "be happy" or waiting to tell someone I love them. I don't like waiting to live life or waiting for a reason to celebrate.

Have you ever been to a funeral and heard all of the wonderful things that are said about a person and the life they lived?

Or after someone passes away, the outpouring of heartfelt emotions that are rarely shared when the person is alive?

Not waiting is one of the reasons I created the FIERCE Women of the Year awards. I refuse to wait to tell my friends that I love them. I don't care how uncomfortable it makes them to hear it or how much I look like Paul Rudd in I Love You, Man.

Shit needs to be said.

It's like those tributes at the Oscars or Grammys celebrating the lives of celebs who have OD'd passed away; nice, sweet, awwww so touching.

Ahem.

How about CELEBRATE the people you love, right now, at this moment. 

Cheer them on! Champion their accomplishments! Show them how much their life matters while they are ALIVE to be see it.

When I heard the news that Christine Jarvis, our first-ever Graceful Goddess recipient, was killed, I was devastated but I kept reminding myself that I got the chance to honour her life while she was here. Chris was more than a FIERCE winner, she was the woman who I counted on to make sure my kids were taken care of when I needed to schedule them with the pediatrician she  worked for. She watched me launch MOM Magazine and encouraged me when I launched FIERCE. Our brief visits at the doctor's office led to a sweet relationship through Facebook and I watched her share her life through pictures and posts. She was always genuinely happy, thoughtful, positive and maternal. She never expected anything in return for her charitable efforts, she was the proudest mom I know, and she quietly lived a full life.

I know the award meant a lot to her and she was humbled by the recognition but now that she's gone, it's one of the things I'm most proud of in my life.

Don't wait until it's too late to recognize the people in your life.

Nominations for the 2012 FIERCE Women of the Year awards are open until Aug, 31 to Alberta women. The event will be dedicated to the memory of Christine and I know she will be smiling and clapping along there with us.


 

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Saying goodbye to a Graceful Goddess

I hate having to write this post.

I've been dreading it since I heard the news last night.

There is a woman who most of you have never heard of. She lived a happy, quiet, and full life, generously touching the lives of others with her genuine beauty. She glowed from the inside out, her warmth and soothing presence calming the inconsolable, and her first thought was always of how she could help someone in need.

Her name wasn't splashed across newspapers on a regular basis, she wasn't a blogger, she didn't impose her opinions on anyone through social media, and she had no time for anything but making sure she lived life to it's fullest.

Christine Jarvis was our first-ever Graceful Goddess recipient of the FIERCE Awards but more than that, she was someone I considered a friend.

On Saturday, July 7, Christine died doing one of the things she loved most; driving her cherished motorcycle she lovingly named Rosie.

At the 2011 FIERCE awards, I invited the previous winners to present awards and Chris gladly and humbly accepted the offer. During her speech, she spoke of how much it meant to her to have the honour of being our first-ever Graceful Goddess recipient and how she looked at her diamond award whenever she needed a reminder that she was FIERCE.

Chris was 51 years old when she died but she touched so many lives in her short time here. She leaves behind three children, three grandchildren and countless lives she has changed for the better.

Rest in peace graceful goddess. The world is a better place because you were here.

t.

3 Things I learned from Amanda Babichuk

Amanda Babichuk via D'Lish Wine Bar

Yesterday, the tweet that shocked the Edmonton (#yeg) community came from our very own 2011 FIERCE Woman of the Year, Amanda Babichuk.

Amanda came into my life when I was literally at rock bottom but fighting to emerge from the depths of depression that had become my existence. She offered up D'Lish Wine Bar to be the space for our first-eevr FIERCE Women of the Year awards even though her renovations weren't complete and she didn't know me at all.

Her patience, concern for the event, and willingness to help me even though she really had no reason to, showed me that she had a heart that was rare and an ability to see beyond her own struggles that she was facing while transitioning her business from a meal assembly studio to a shi-shi wine bar.

We became fast friends and shared many conversations about love, loss, life and other similarities we had in common. I admired Amanda's ability to rise from the proverbial ashes numerous times throughout her life and come out stronger every time.

The closing of D'Lish is sad, yes, but I have no doubt that Amanda will come out of this with a few more scars but Still Standing.

Three Things I Learned from Amanda

3. A Heart Hug Heals When I first met Amanda, she hugged me. But when I went to pull away, she looked at me and said, "I need to show you a heart hug." I looked at her funny, wondering where the hell she was going with that when she leaned in to hug me the opposite way. Instead of leaning into the hug with her right arm raised, she leaned into it with her left arm raised which confused the hell out of me. I didn't know how to hug her! After awkwardly adjusting myself and my arms, I returned the hug feeling ridiculously uncomfortable and somewhat vulnerable. She smiled at me and told me when you position your body like that in a hug, your hearts physically connect, hence the heart hug. 

2. Inspiration comes at any age. Amanda's resilience, her ability to bounce back and her determination to not let being a single mother define her, leave me in awe. Where others feel the need to define themselves by the tragedies in their life or the drama that plagues them, Amanda sidesteps all of the stereotypes and is determined to have people see her for HER not for the circumstances she has overcome. The fact that she has overcome so much and gone on to walk her own path endears her to me even more but knowing that she is still so young has made me extremely protective of her. I love her like a little sister and know that despite this new roadblock in her life, it is temporary and she will get through it like she gets through everything else.

1. Ensure your own success by ensuring the success of those around you. 

Amanda's selfless business savvy was always something that baffled me. She seemingly put other businesses before her own need to succeed and she people without expecting anything in return. I have a serious radar for not trusting people, especially of those who seem to do things for others. I always think there is an underlying motive because in my experience there always has been one but with Amanda that was never the case. She promoted other businesses, she supported other businesses, and she really wanted to see others be successful, not because she expected them to reciprocate but so she could celebrate their success and watch them flourish.

D'Lish was a true extension of Amanda; charming, flirty, relaxed and home. No matter what the future holds for Amanda, she has a community of support, love, friends and my personal eternal loyalty. 

She was named the 2011 FIERCE Woman of the Year for a reason. Amanda Babichuk is someone the entire City of Edmonton should stand up and applaud.

Thanks for everything you've done, Amanda. I am eternally grateful.

Love,

t.

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Pinch your inner Goddess, wake her up and embrace YOU!

Grab your feather boa and sashay yourself to a class with Aime Hutton, Queen Goddess of Awakening Goddess, a Calgary-based company that offers classes for women to embrace THEIR inner goddess.

Aime was a 2011 FIERCE Women of the Year Phenomenal Female nominee who dazzled me with her purple feather boa and insane energy.

She is a speaker, author, coach and above all, Aime is true to her message. She LOVES herself unconditionally and spreads the message of how you can love yourself, too.

Check her out! She was just accepted as a Diamond Member to the International Women's Leadership Association!!

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Sammie Love: You need to know her

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Marie's 10 Minute Strategy to Working Out

We all struggle with balance and finding time for ourselves. 

Well, one of the women who I follow faithfully on twitter and have her tips sent directly to my inbox, is Marie Forleo. Marie is a Marketing & Lifestyle expert who is listened to by the likes of Sir Richard Branson (seriously, if you don't know who Sir Rich is I'm not giving you a link/definition... google him).

Marie  is brainy, ballsy and could very well be a New York version of moi if I were rich, successful and brunette.

Anyhooters, Marie recently posted a blog/video about your excuses for not working out.

Go. Watch. Sign up. Be prepared to be amazed. Oh and get your ass off the couch. Being unhealthy is not FIERCE.

Oh and don't look at me, I've only restarted my healthy journey and hell NO it doesn't mean I'm giving up wine 

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7 Women Who Rock Our World

I love being inspired and amazed by women who make a difference. I cling to their every word, absorb every ounce of intelligence they share and am in awe of what they have done and what they continue to do. 

Carissa Reiniger I first met Carissa at the Edmonton's Women Show back in 2006 when she had just released her first book Stories From Our Black Books at the ripe old age of 22. I've watched her grow as one of Canada's most amazing entrepreneurs, launching Silver Lining Ltd, become a world-class speaker, philanthropist and inspiration to women everywhere. Oh and for her upcoming 30th birthday in June, she plans on getting her pilot’s license and will be flying around the world in 30 days, starting on her birthday. 

Yeh, she kinda kicks ass.

Ruth Kelly I had the privilege of working for Ruth back when Venture Publishing was only three years old. Even then I knew Ruth was a woman to be revered, respected, and renowned for her brilliance. She commands respect with merely her presence, and is an important player in Edmonton's business community. Not only does she give back to the community with her time but she mentors many young entrepreneurs and is seen as one of Edmonton's most influential business people.

Yep, I kinda have some mad respect for Ruth. And even though I swear enough to make a sailor cringe, she still sees the best in me and for that, I feel truly blessed.

Carol deDelley Carol's name might not the most recognizable on this list unless you remember the brutal murder of her son Tim McLean back in July 2008. McLean was beheaded on a Greyhound Bus by Vince Li who was found Not Criminally Responsible by the justice system. Carol has since been fighting to change the NCR law in Canada and is one of the strongest, most articulate, kindest women I have ever met. She is naturally maternal and her quiet strength and resilience inspires me to never quit no matter how bad I think I may have it. Tim's Law is still one I support and will continue to support until the NCR Law is changed. 

Christie Schultz Christie started Entrepreneurial Moms in 2007 in Calgary with only nine women who attended their first meeting. Since then she has grown EMI to include chapters all over Canada and the US, and partnered with Carla Young, publisher of MOMeo Magazine, to launch Momventures. Christie's stranglehold on the Mommy Industry is undeniable but she is as classy and gracious as she is beautiful. 

Teresa Spinelli Teresa's dad Franco started the Italian Centre in Edmonton's Little Italy in 1959 which quickly became known for it's authentic Italian fare but Teresa's vision has taken the city landmark to a whole new level in 2000 after Franco passed away from cancer. Dealing with the death of her dad and her brother's sudden death before his 33rd birthday, Teresa was thrust into a position of filling her dad's shoes; something she was unsure of and something most people were skeptical of. She surprised herself and everyone around her by growing the business 50% by 2002. I can't imagine the struggles she endured dealing with an old school Italian mentality, being a strong-willed woman, and taking on a business from a man who was so well respected BUT Teresa kicked ass, made no apologies for her success and is now one of Canada's most respected business women. She freakin' rocks. And I was thrilled beyond THRILLED to have her as our first-ever FIERCE Women of the Year awards MC. I asked her to come back for the 2nd one but, you know, she was busy celebrating her 50th birthday in Italy.

 I forgive her.

Trina Read Oh, Trina, I love her for so many reasons but one of the biggest reasons is her empowering position as a Sexpert who helps women embrace their sexuality. I first met Trina at an event in Jasper where she rocked the room as a funny, down-to-earth speaker who made women feel like it was OK to have orgasms. Lots and lots of wonderful orgasms. She is a speaker, author, therapist, and all around FIERCE woman.

Erica Ehm Last, and certainly by no means least, the incomparable Erica Ehm. I remember her as a Much Music VJ. I grew up wanting to BE her. All these years later I still wanna be her. She was a trailblazer in the  "Mommy" industry with her conception of the Yummy Mummy Club, and one of the most genuinely sweet women I have ever met. She supports and encourages other mommy-based businesses, bloggers and writers through her website and really paved the way for everyone in the industry. I love her honesty, her candor and her genuine passion for what she does.

When I met her in 2009, she was telling a story about being at a cocktail party after becoming a first-time mom. She was chatting with a guy who asked, "So what do you do?" She replied, "Well, I'm a mom..." to which he responded by smiling politely and walking away. Erica said she thought to herself in that moment, "Hold on there buddy, I'm Erica fuckin' Ehm!" (And yes, she said that. I remember my jaw dropping at the surprise of such a classy chick swearing but it endeared her to me even more so). And so... the YummyMummyClub was born.

And those, FIERCE bitches, are 7 women who rock our world!

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